I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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