16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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