spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He felt like a one man threesome
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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