So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
