yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
