Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
