Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
