At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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