i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
