Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
