Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
