I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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