he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
