Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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