As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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