how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
