and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
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Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
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Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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