8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
