she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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