My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
