3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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