Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
