Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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