You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
