just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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