sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize