sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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