I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
