So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
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It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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