she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
