Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
