So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
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