I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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