Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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