I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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