She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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