too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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