Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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