evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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