I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
