I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
