He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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