i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
