Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
