she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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