I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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