You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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