Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
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Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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