I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
