we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
