I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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