You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
how can u be prego again
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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