he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
