Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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