So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
you made out with another girl for some wings
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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