don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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