I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
