i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
