She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
