You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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