my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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