The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
