I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my being single is dangerous.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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