Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
