Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
