I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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